The 1984 teen sex comedy Lovelines (frequently referred to as Love Lines) is a fascinating cultural artifact. Directed by Rod Amateau, a veteran of mid-century television sitcoms like The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, the film exists as a bizarre, hyper-saturated time capsule of mid-1980s American youth culture. It is a movie that attempts to be absolutely everything to everyone at a specific moment in cinematic history. It tries to function as a modern teen variation on Romeo and Juliet, a raunchy flesh-baring sex romp, a fully realized rock musical, a showcase for practical high school pranks, and a fourth-wall-breaking vehicle for Michael Winslow of Police Academy fame. By refusing to pick a single narrative lane, the film careens wildly between genres, delivering a viewing experience that is simultaneously exhausting, baffling, and undeniably entertaining for connoisseurs of pure vintage cheese. At its core, the thin narrative outline centers on an intense, cross-town rivalry between...