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Second Class Cinema Episode 69: Never Too Young To Die (1986)

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Hello friends!

This week on SCC we are celebrating the birthday of our very own Erik. What a joy.

And what better way to celebrate a birthday, than to watch a movie in which Gene Simmons stars as a hermaphroditic, lounge-singing super villain! It was Erik’s pick this week, and he picked the 1986 action flick, Never Too Young To Die, starring John Stamos, Gene Simmons, and Vanity (RIP, as of today, oddly enough).
This flick follows Lance Stargrove as he transitions from meek college gymnast, to full-blown action hero in just over 90 minutes. Lance’s father is killed while on a super secret mission to stop the ruthless Ragnar from poisoning the cities water supply, leaving Lance no choice but to complete the mission. With the help of fellow agent, Danja - and the occasional wacky gagdet from his college friend, Cliff- Lance sets off to stop Ragnar once and for all.

This movie is a veritable trove of so many things you never knew you needed. John Stamos cocking a shotgun? Check. Gene Simmons gyrating in a bustier? Check. Defective rocket-launchers, Gene and John on the verge of making out, sexually repressed fruit-eating? Check, check, check! Listen up!


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