Bars across the United States descended into collective despair Monday after MTV announced it was finally ending its long-running clip show Ridiculousness, a cultural mainstay that had kept millions of televisions glowing above pool tables and sticky bar tops for over a decade.
“I just… I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now,” said Denver bar owner Chris Mendez, staring blankly at a wall of muted flat screens once filled with Rob Dyrdek laughing at people falling off skateboards. “We tried putting on SportsCenter, but everyone just sat there quietly and started reflecting on their lives. It got weird fast.”
For years, Ridiculousness served as America’s unifying background noise — the nation’s sonic wallpaper of “oofs,” “oh mans,” and laughter from people who may or may not have had concussions. Without it, bar owners fear patrons may be forced to talk to each other or, worse, think.
“We turned on the news, and people started arguing. We switched to Shark Tank, and suddenly everyone had a business idea,” said Mandy Keller, who manages a Buffalo Wild Wings in Des Moines. “Ridiculousness kept everyone in perfect harmony — slightly drunk, semi-distracted, and emotionally numb. It was beautiful.”
The show's absence has left an immediate void in the late-night television ecosystem, with reports of bartenders frantically scrolling through Pluto TV and old YouTube compilations of “Fails of 2012” in an effort to recreate the same dead-eyed laughter the series provided.
MTV, for its part, issued a brief statement thanking fans and assuring them that, quote, “Literally nothing else is coming — we forgot how to make other shows in 2013.”
Meanwhile, bar regulars nationwide have gathered to hold candlelight vigils under wall-mounted TVs. In Nashville, one group of patrons raised their glasses during a final viewing of a Ridiculousness rerun titled “Ouch My Face,” tearfully mouthing along as Dyrdek delivered his trademark, “Let’s check the replay.”
At press time, MTV was reportedly in talks to fill the time slot with a new show tentatively titled “Even More Ridiculousness.”
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